1. I have a
six-year old multi-ethnic daughter and have been at
a total loss as to how to properly take care of her
hair. I have asked countless friends and professionals
over the years what I need to do for her hair since
it seems to "never grow." I got different
advice every time. I've wasted lots of money on products
that didn't help but made things worse. I've already
begun doing a deep condition on her hair and I can tell
that this is going to work. Her hair is relaxed and
broken off all around the edges of her head. This has
come from the tight braiding and ponytails, excessive
brushing, and not enough conditioning of the hair. Plus,
my mother-in-law had told me that I couldn't wash her
hair very often and we would go for a couple of weeks
without washing. I am ashamed. My daughter wants long
hair. It has probably been about 10 or 11 weeks since
her last relaxer. Her hair is in very bad condition.
My husband wants to quit the relaxer for her hair. Can
we grow out the relaxer without a retouch and not get
a lot of breakage or are we condemned to a life with
a relaxer?
First, let me assure you that there is nothing wrong
with washing the hair often. The damaging effect of
routine hair washing the hair every 2 weeks is a myth
perpetuated throughout the Black community by our mothers
and the hair care industry. They reasoned that because
we have dry hair, frequent washing would result in stripping
the natural oils essential to beautiful Black hair.
afro-textured hair is the driest of all races of people
and it appears that your daughter has inherited this
hair type. Water is moisture and cannot possibly dry
the hair out. It is not how often you wash the hair
that causes the problem - it is what you wash the hair
with! If washing the hair often was a problem, every
Caucasian would be baldheaded! Secondly, give up the
hairbrush as it is destroying her hair. Hair possessing
a tight curl pattern should not be brushed because it
promotes breakage. Finally, a relaxer as you now know,
permanently changes the structure of the hair. Once
it is changed, it cannot be reformed. Growing out a
relaxer is tough and takes patience, but you can do
it if you keep the hair conditioned regularly and moisturized
daily. You will probably want to deep condition twice
a week. Exercise care when you handle her hair, as the
hair shafts are weakest between the processed portion
and the natural hair. Ensure her hair is kept soft to
minimize the breakage, which is very important when
trying to switch from chemically processed hair back
to a natural state. Be patient. Nurture the hair back
to health using the above guidelines and your daughter
will realize her dream of beautiful long hair!
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2. I completed
reading your book and found it very fascinating and
educational. Last week, I ordered your conditioner and
Dew. I am anxious to try it. I will pass on your knowledge
to other African-Americans about your book, conditioners
and website. You are wonderful and beautiful. My questions
are these if you will: My biological daughter loves
swimming and we are planning a visit to Marco Island,
Florida. My in-laws have a swimming pool, and my daughter
can’t wait to get into the water. My concern is
the chlorine. Her hair gets relaxed at a salon, but
I do the maintenance like shampooing, conditioning etc.
I know that chlorine is bad for all hair, but more so
our hair. My other 2 daughters will be in the pool a
lot as well, but they are Caucasian and it is just a
matter of jumping in the shower and air drying straight
whola! Please give some suggestions. I don’t think
swimming caps keep out much water do they?
Forget the swim cap as it is merely to keep hair out
of the pool, not to keep water off the hair. Braid her
hair before she gets in the water to prevent tangling
and matting. After swimming, use a clarifying shampoo
or swimmers shampoo to remove the chlorine from the
hair. Remember these shampoos can be quite harsh so
you dont want to use daily but only when you need to
remove build ups or chlorine on the hair.
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3. I shampoo
plus condition my daughters hair once or twice per week
and blow dry just to remove water. I use the curling
iron at the root to remove kinks. My biracial daughter
is 11 years old and has healthy shoulder length hair.
The only complaint is her sides and neck line get curly
and are shorter. I appreciate any suggestions you can
give me.
If her hair is relaxed get rid of the blowdryer and
dry her hair under a hooded dryer then straighten with
the curling iron. If her hair is natural you can blow
dry to straighten Also ensure she is sleeping in a bonnet
or scarf to keep her hair from tangling and matting.
Bet this will help her side and neckline problems. And
please tell me you have tossed out your brush!
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4. My Caucasian
step-daughter whom is 12 has a scent in her hair that
is unpleasant even after washing similar to wet animal.
Could you recommend a shampoo that I can try for her?
Something you are putting on her hair is causing bacteria.
I find that when I use KeraCare conditioner my hair
stinks in a day or so. It does not smell with my products
or others I have used so I know it is the product that
is creating some sort of bacteria on my scalp and hair.
Try changing her conditioner and shampoo to see if this
helps.
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5. I am 34 years
old; my father is African-american and my mother is
caucasian; my hair isn’t like most black people’s
but it is not like most white people’s, either.
It is naturally curly (but not overly curly) and about
3 inches past my shoulders (although, not evenly). The
last time I ever had anything done to my hair (got highlights
in it) was over a year ago. Lately, I have noticed enormous
amounts of hair coming out in the shower and I also
have a lot of hairs falling, here and there. I don’t
think I am going bald (I don’t seem to have any
bald patches), but it just seems like all of a sudden
my hair is falling out and it is getting very thin.
I am not on any medications. The methods you teach;
will they help my kind of hair too; even though it is
not completely black hair? Also, you say that you should
not use a brush – is it okay to use a comb? (when
I comb my hair out when I condition my hair, a whole
lot of hair comes out). Lastly, my hair is very frizzy
and in order to keep my curls looking halfway decent,
I use hair gel; if this is not a good idea, could you
please recommend something else?
My products and methods help to eliminate a dry hair
condition. If you have dry hair this will benefit you.
(the conditioner has a lot of oil so if oil makes your
hair to heavy you can not use it. Yes - a wide tooth
comb (I talk about this in my book) I do not recommend
you comb your hair when it is wet if it is chemically
processed! If you have damaged hair and your hair is
wet, you stretch it past the tensile length of the hair
causing it to break. I recommend hair polish rather
than gel.
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6. Hello, I am
a biracial, black and white, female with about shoulder
length hair. I have a couple of questions that I would
greatly appreciate your advice with. I have been relaxing
my hair for about three years, but I recently read where
relaxers and perms actually break protein bonds in your
hair, or something like that, real technical, but it
has scared me into not wanting to use a relaxer anymore.
What is your advice on switching from relaxers to pressing
or blow drying straight (or is there even a big difference
in damage from a relaxer and blow drying) ? Also, along
with my relaxed hair it was also highlighted. Talk about
NIGHTMARE! I can actually see where my hair is breaking
off at the lighter half of my hair. After I have grown
my highlightes out, do you have any suggestions for
keeping new highlights healthy? And one more question,
I have noticed that one side of my hair is just a tad
bit longer than the other, anyway to get them even faster
without loosing the length of the long one? P.S. Sorry!
I read where you said trimming your hair has nothing
to do with the length. Does that mean trimming does
not stop split ends? If not, what can I do to mend the
split ends I have?
Relaxers do break apart the disulfide bonds and IF
they are done correctly and maintained they are fine
to wear.
NEVER PRESS chemically processed hair. Relaxers were
never intended to be used with extreme heat. You will
destroy the hair! Weekly blowdrying your hair after
it is washed it the only time I would recommend this
method. When I relaxed my hair I would only blowdry
my hair when I was doing a show. I found they are very
damaging to the hair cuticle as well as the hair ends.
Now that I am relaxer free I blowdry weekly.
Nightmare indeed when you highlighted your relaxed
hair! Now you KNOW this is a no-no. You can not double
process the hair. Lightened hair has to use peroxide
or ammonia to lift the dark hair to then color it lighter.
It is very damaging to double process the hair. If you
choose to dye your hair it has to be the darker colors
which use only water to mix. I use Oriental Black and
Black Brown Bigen. Give up the relaxer if you choose
to highlight your hair.
Do you sleep in a bonnet? I find that hair that is
often matted at night when we sleep and wearing a bonnet
or scarf at night fixed a problem I had in the back
of my head. There were shorter ends in the center of
my hair caused by my hair moving around on the pillow.
Get yourself a bonnet and see if that helps.
Trimming has nothing to do with split ends. Hair splits
because of how it is cared for. It can also split anywhere
along the hair shaft not just the ends. If hair splits
in the middle of the hair shaft it is not logically
to trim all the hair. Stop doing the damaging things
to your hair and you will avoid most splitting hair
problems! Throw away that hair brush! Leave your hair
ends alone unless they are unsightly and raggedy. It
will not hurt to keep them on your head.
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7. Cathy, my
daughter is mixed (her father is Bermudian and mom is
caucasian) and therefore has quite unique hair, and
living in North Dakota doesn't help much as very few
salons will touch her. She had her hair first relaxed
by an African- American women here in town a few years
ago. Now she's gone and we've relied upon a local salon
the last few times. They don't seem to want to touch
her hair close to her scalp so, to me, she never gets
the results she should be getting. My questions are:
1) Are the relaxers on the market safe enough for a
"white" mother to use on her 15 year old?
I've been very tempted several times, but get nervous
and back out. 2) Secondly, she seems to have very bad
dandruff. It's been like this for quite a while although
she's been using Head and Shoulders forever. I don't
have anyone here to talk to about it and would very
much appreciate any advice you could give. As a teenager,
Katherine is very much concerned about it, and looks
to me for answers. Please help a very frustrated mom!
(Thanks for listening.)
Kelly, If you have never done a relaxer before, I would
be very silly to advise you to perform one on your daughter
when you don't quite know what to do or what to watch
for. Your daughter would hate you if you burned all
her hair off or she could be severely burned as a result
of you applying the products inappropriately. What I
would advise you to do is go to the Avalon.com website
and look for someone close to your area that will do
an Affirm relaxer on your daughter. (keep getting an
Affirm thereafter) The smart professional will choose
the relaxer strength based on the texture of her hair.
(something you can not do right away) Affirm was the
only relaxer I used when I relaxed my hair. After her
hair is done with the chemical Katherine will need to
understand what is required to keep her hair on her
head and my book is critical for this. Chemicals will
dry and break the hair if misapplied or left unmaintained.
Is Katherine putting any kind of grease on her scalp?
Is she washing her hair at least 2X per week? Is she
using a lot of alcohol or gel products? She is doing
something that is perhaps causing the flaky scalp problem.
She may have a buildup of products too. Get the book,
and get in touch with someone to do the Affirm relaxer.
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8. Hello!! I
need some info,and was hoping you could help me! I am
a 15 year-old Bi-racial female. I used to have long
natural curly and wavy hair that was extra thick. Through
my growing years I started to experiment with different
appearances. Now, I have VERY THIN, damaged,and short
hair. I was wondering if you could help me grow my beautiful
thick and curly hair back, by giving me some tips and
info. PLEASE HELP!
Yes, read my book. You need to understand why your
hair is short now and how to correct the problem. The
book defines the problems we have and gives solutions
for how to make changes to grow your hair or just how
to maintain it. The book will open your eyes.
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9. I just ordered
your book and I am so excited to try your method. I
am a bi-racial woman with what my hairdresser says is
type 2 hair. I have had so many relaxers and perms and
have had so many disasters. I was convinced that I could
never relax my hair. I am going to try again. :) You
mentioned that you used Affirm. With my type 2 hair,
can I still use Affirm? My hair is course, but real
fine. A very strange combination. I am really desparate.
I want to do this right this time. Any suggestions?
My hair dresser is willing to order anything I need.
Thanks for your time and thanks for allowing us women
to share in your success. May God Bless you!!! Angie
If your hairdresser knows what she is doing, yes you
should be able to have your hair relaxed with perhaps
the mild form. Just ensure you care for your hair after
you have the chemical with the method discussed in my
book because from your past relaxer disasters you know
your hair will become drier now more than before. So
just ensure you follow my techniques for maintaining
your relaxer AFTER you have it done.
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